Back off my kid!

If you've seen photos of my child, you know that he is quite a guy. We laugh about him being a "chunky monkey", and this was well before his Halloween costume. Yes, he is on the upper end of the scale when it comes to those "all-important" baby percentages. And there is not a day that goes by that someone - typically some random stranger - doesn't comment on how big he is:

"Wow! He's a big guy! How old is he?"
"Well, he's certainly a good eater, huh?"
"Ooh, you're a big boy, aren't you?"
"Is he crawling yet? Well he'll thin out when he gets more active."
"You need to get that kid on a running program." (From a college friend upon meeting Cameron.)
And the ever-popular, always inappropriate,
"How much does he weigh?"

Truly, it's enough to give Mommy a serious complex.

So, I was in a children's clothing store yesterday waiting in line to purchase a winter hat for Cameron, and another mother says to me, "He sure is a big kid, isn't he?"

Really, how am I supposed to respond to that?

Other mother: "Wow, he's like in the 100th percentile, isn't he?"

Me: "Um...well, yes, he is in a higher percentage."

OM: "What is he, like 4 months old?"

Me: (huh?!?) "No, he's 9 months old."

OM: "Oh...huh. Well, (here it comes) how much does he weigh?"

Me: "I don't know...20-21 pounds."

OM: "Oh. My daughter is 8 months old."

Me: "Really? And how much does she weigh?"

OM: "Um...16 pounds." I think at this point she's starting to realize she's being a bit rude. "I just meant he looked really tall for his age."

Me: "Uh huh."

Look, sister, back up off my kid. He could pancake your 16 pound pipsqueak without even breaking a sweat.

Come on, mothers of the world! We need to stick together here. We all know what it's like to have perfect strangers ask us all kinds of inappropriate questions! As soon as you get pregnant, suddenly you're fair game:

"How much weight have you gained?"
"Are you going to breastfeed? For how long?"
"Are you going to co-sleep?"
"You're using disposable diapers?"

Is any of this anyone's business but those with whom I choose to share it? This is between me, my husband, and my OB/GYN.

And it just keeps going from there. Motherhood...the great barrier breaker. Suddenly any topic is fair game, whether you know the person or not. So, come on moms...when you see another harried mother just trying to buy her baby boy a dang winter hat, think twice before you smugly express your astonishment about how big her sweet baby is and asking what percentile he's in. Hey, she may not thank you...but at least she won't write about you later on her blog.